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Making decisions

March 9, 2013

Making decisions

At times in your labour, you may find yourself needing to make a decision. What is important here? What can we do to feel positive about the decisions we make? When things don't go according to plan, what's the difference between an positive experience and a traumatic experience?

Negative

Blame. Lack of control. Let down. Disappointed. Not listened to, not given voice at all. Fear.

Positive

Feeling supported, listened to heard. Understood. Given choice, respected.

The decision is always yours!

Ideas…

Support. This is where support is invaluable. Someone to bring the focus back to you and your baby, someone who isn't medical staff and isn't emotionally involved. Rational voice.

Acceptance- accepting the situation and making a decision based on that.

Use kind language. Not; gone wrong, not according to plan.

Try and think in terms of realities and decisions. (Eg the reality is the hospital staff are concerned about the baby. Here are the options, make a decision.)

Ask for time. half an hour of privacy to see if labour changes, ten minutes to discuss options quietly with father/ birth partner.

Have your priorities but be flexible when flexibility is needed. (Eg, I know intervention is needed and I need to be flexible. My priority now is that I can have skin to skin with my baby as quickly and for as long as possible.)

A brilliant story of a mother who needed to be open and flexible to what labour brought. It's a great example of how being heard and making your own decisions can facilitate a really empowering experience, even if its not what you would hope for. It's the story of Sarah and Imogen, about three posts down- http://tellmeagoodbirthstory.blogspot.co.uk/

Another fantastic story about a natural cesarean birth. Again showing us the importance of knowing your options and being prepared-http://cord-clamping.com/2012/07/29/birth-story-woman-centred-emergency-c-section-with-delayed-clamping/

 

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